Little Box

Some Christmas humour from the excellent Simon’s Cat.

Old Jokes

I have an Outlook PST file that I have religiously copied from one computer to the next for more than 15 years. The file is named humour.pst; it hasn’t been used since the year 2000. I decided to have a look through the emails to see if there was anything notable. I found this:

Diana always wanted an expensive car—a status symbol to drive around and be seen in. She scrimps and saves, goes to the BMW dealer, and plops down several years income for a brand new state-of-the-art, computer-enhanced, kick-ass, dream mobile. She’s driving off. Decides she wants some music and searches for the radio.

The dashboard looks like a control panel at NASA. She fiddles with this button, that gizmo…  jiggles these and those, but finally gives up. Can’t find the damned thing.

Furious, she races back to the dealership, screams at the salesman and tells him they forgot to install the radio!

He assures her it’s right there in front of her. It’s hooked into the onboard computer. All she has to do is tell it what she wants.  He demonstrates: “Classical,” he says.

The car fills with the sounds of Paganini.

“Blues,” she says, and “click” a B.B. King classic plays.

She drives off amazed. “Country,” she says, and “click” a Garth Brooks tune comes on.

“Folk” and “click” Joan Baez sings about the night they drove ol’ Dixie down.

“New Age” and “click” Yanni at the Acropolis snaps on.

She’s so captivated by this new toy that she isn’t paying much attention to the road.  A driver runs a light and cuts her off.

“Asshole!!!” she screams.

“Click”… “Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.”

Truth, Lies or Delusions

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Prickly City: funny, very, very funny, believe me.

 

Truth or Lies

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Source: Jesus and Mo

And an honest man wouldn’t complain about his microphone not working when it was.

Jesus and Mo on the money again.

 

Shy Bird

 

Haven’t posted for a little while. Here’s a great song!

Nobody wants it all

The Brilliant Sorcery of England’s 7-Circle Magic Roundabout

Swindon’s “magic roundabout” is a mystifying but brilliant traffic solution.

Source: The Brilliant Sorcery of England’s 7-Circle Magic Roundabout

I did not know about this.

Militants

H/T Jerry Coyne.

Review: Adult Colouring App

Colouring apps for adults seem to be increasingly popular. I decided to have a look around and see whether I’d have fun with one. Most of the apps that I looked at offer a free version with in app purchases required to unlock additional facilities. Some such as Pigment and Colorfy are subscription-based. But I thought £3 a week forever for something I wanted as an occasional diversion and not an obsession was over the top. I decided to go with Adult Colouring. The name is unfortunate as it suggests something naughty, which, of course, is not the case.

I installed Adult Colouring on my 12″ iPad Pro and worked with the Apple Pencil. I played around with the free version and decided that the price to unlock the full version was fair. [Read more…]

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7 Years

This is a beautiful song that I discovered watching Britain’s Got Talent (I know, I know). There’s a twofer as the first video shows Lukas singing, and the second shows the lyrics, so you can sing along. Unfortunately, embedded play seems to be disabled for these videos, so when you click the links YouTube will open in a new tab.

Video of Lukas singing

Video with lyrics

Dancing Screenbean